The Blog is Moving!!

Hello sweet friends! It has been a pleasure getting to know you and walking through this life with you. I am so excited to announce that we have a new page set up!! I will still blog here from time to time, but the majority of my musings you will find here:

Faith, Hope and Homeschool (faithhopeandhomeschool.com)

Blessings!!
Jennifer

Kicking Comparison and Condemnation to the Curb!

What does a typical day around here look like? Hmmm....that is hard to say. We have been in an odd season the last 2 1/2 years, the majority of our homeschool years. If we have learned NOTHING else, (oh, but we have), it is to remain flexible. To not be caught into a "time" or "schedule" trap. I almost think my girls have learned more this summer since putting the "formal" curriculum away, than they did much of the year.

They enjoy writing, painting, drawing, math, and sign language. They like to read as well, but they prefer the former things better. 

We have been on a "temporary assignment" for my husband's job for the last 2 1/2 years. It started as a one year assignment, and kept getting stretched. The flexibility part? We may not know until a couple of weeks before hand if we are staying here or returning home 500 miles away. We are a family of 6 and we have a lot of STUFF.

We are "night owls." Consider it a curse or a blessing, I'm not sure. Even when the boys were in public school, it was so hard to wake them early and they were groggy and hard to get motivated. Both my husband and I spent YEARS on nightshift, both of us usually pulling 12 hour shifts. My "clock" has yet to reset to what some call normal, even though it has been almost 3 years since I have worked as a Registered Nurse. My son's medical condition requires him to get as much sleep as possible--sleep deprivation tends to cause problems with his seizures.

Furthermore, especially as me being a nurse, how do I know that God will assign them a typical 9-5 job?!? Hospitals don't only run on dayshift. Factories and many stores don't either. He could send them halfway around the world where time zones are different as well. The point of this? Each family is different. I have had to swallow this myself. I long to be a morning person. I have good intentions and all. However, my "best" thinking, as well as my best time alone with the Lord, is at night. Call it years of nightshift in the ER. Call it the way I was made-I have always been like this since I can remember. The same is true for my oldest. His "best" is in the evening. His brother usually goes to sleep sooner, and wakes up earlier than some of us. That is perfect for him. He is almost 13. Many of his "independent" subjects can be done on his own during that time.

I see so much judgement and condemnation upon those who don't rise early. Who don't have "quiet" time in the morning. Who don't follow a "typical" school schedule. You know what? I prayed years ago for God to give me a time to be able to focus on Him, to spend time with Him. To carve that time out during the day. I was praying it wasn't at night-at that time my husband was on night shift, I had many fears, and I wanted to get to sleep as soon as possible to make the daylight come again. Guess what? It was during those still hours of the night, when most of the world was asleep and quiet, that I found the time I was looking for. That I learned so much and spent much more time with Him, unburdened by a "to do" list in my head....everything was finished for the day.

Our homeschool isn't typical by any means. And yet, that is the beauty of it. I have no idea what plans God has for each of these kids. I "learned" to rise early for jobs, one at 5 am and one at 6 am, and one at 7 am. I didn't perform well in my opinion, hence the inward joy, but outward grumbling, to be placed on night shift. I am thankful that I don't have to work outside of the home now, but that "night" personality has served me well.

Don't get stuck in the comparison trap about what your homeschool schedule OR your quiet time should look like. Trust even those seemingly small things to the Lord. David and Joshua meditated day AND night. Read the Psalms...David cried out to Him during the night too. Don't impose rules on yourself or your homeschool or you are setting yourself up for failure and aggravation. Abide in Him. Lean on Him. Seek His direction for your EVERY step.

And the condemnation? Throw it to the curb. It's unBiblical anyway. 

A Lesson in Service and Salvation From My Children

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet,

you also ought to wash one another's feet.

For I have given you an example,

that you should do as I have done to you.

(John 13:1-15 NKJV)

What does serving look like? Is it always front page news? Does it take you to the ends of the earth? Is it providing physical, spiritual and emotional help? The answer? Yes-all of these qualify as serving. But can it be much more personal as well? Serving those around you? Those in your own family? Blooming where you are planted and maybe somewhere else when God will open a door?

I learned a lesson yesterday in service. A big one. You see, I have been involved in some aspect of Women's Ministry for the last 2 years. I love the opportunities God has given me, and even more, I love the women I get to serve and those I serve alongside of. However, yesterday, service took on a whole new light for me.

We had a busy, fun-filled weekend. We went to some festivals and to an amazing outdoor concert featuring a favorite band of ours, Sidewalk Prophets. Late nights and early mornings made us a little cranky though. The kids and I were short with each other on those early mornings. Not good.

Sunday night, the girls were playing at the concert. We were in Alabama, and if I have learned one thing from my time "farther down South", it is this: the grass is hard, (and sparse), and the dirt is dusty--almost sand like in texture. Back home the grass is smooth enough to lay on and the dirt--well, it's dirt. Usually hard, but not like sand. The girls had on flip-flops and were spinning around and playing on the playground. We got home really late and the girls fell asleep in the car, so we tucked them in bed.

Fast forward--Monday morning. Wanting to sleep in from a late night, it was not to be so. Not by my standards anyway (lol). As my precious 4 year old crawled up in bed with me that morning, I noticed her feet. Filthy. As in, this stuff was stuck on good!! We have a quilt on our bed that is blue and white. A lot of white. I hollered for her sister and told them that we were going to wash their feet in the sink before we did anything else.

As I placed my sweet girl on that sink and ran the water, reflections began to run through my mind. As I washed her tiny feet, I remembered Jesus washing His disciples feet. How loving and kind of a gesture. The Savior, the Lord of the entire universe, kneeled down and washed His disciple's feet. What an amazing image. As I scrubbed a little bit harder, it also reminded me of how thick our sin is, how stubborn of a stain it is. Scrubbing their feet brought to mind the cleansing of our sins that Jesus, by His shed blood on the cross, did for us. As I finished washing their feet, sparkly clean again, it was a lesson to me in both service and salvation.

Service? Because Jesus came to serve. That was His life mission. To seek and save the lost. 

Mark 20:27-28 reminds us: And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave-just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many (NKJV). 

It reminded me that my job is to serve. Wholeheartedly. WHEREVER God has put me at this moment. My family is my first mission field, the ones I should serve first. As God has made available, my next acts of service are to those around me and in whatever ministry I am a part of. It also reminded me that I NEED to be served BY Jesus as well. Can't be a Martha all the time, I need to be a Mary too!

Salvation? Because as I stood there, it took a lot of work to scrub away all of that dirt and mud (from sweaty feet). As I washed, I watched the water in the sink slowly turning brown. After I finished scrubbing their feet and they were nice and clean, I didn't want them putting their feet back down in that "dirty" water lest they get filthy again. It reminded me of the cleansing power of Jesus. It reminded me of His blood. He takes us, washes away all of our sin, and doesn't want us to put our feet back down in that "dirty water" again. He promises to help keep us clean by the Holy Spirit indwelling within us. He lovingly pats us dry, as I did my girl's feet, and sets us on solid ground. 

One MAJOR difference: My girl's are kids--they love to play. They will get their feet dirty again. I will have to scrub them again. And while we may mess up in our Christian walk, Jesus continually cleanses us. His sacrifice was ONCE and it was enough to cleanse our sins. No more "scrubbing" needed--that was finished on the cross. The Holy Spirit dwells within us to help and teach us.

Isaiah 1:18~ "Come now, and let us reason together," says the LORD, "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow: though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool...." (NKJV)

The Blessing by John Waller:

CHOOSE to be a blessing!! What are some lessons that your children have taught you? What are some ways you have been called to serve? Share with us!!

Linking up with some amazing blogs:

Our Story part 6

After the amazing night I witnessed with my son, I knew it was time to do something about it. Our friend, the Neurologist's nurse, was amazed as well. She knew that a new MRI needed to be performed-specifically the one that they were unable to get to better locate the "trouble area" and keep them from going in "blind" during surgery. She told me that the new MRI was scheduled for the next week and to bring him right away, very early that morning.

The rest of the weekend was pretty amazing. We didn't "see" any seizures out of him. This was the first time in over a month that my son had been free of these things. Could they have disappeared as quickly as they came? His right arm and hand gradually began gaining a little more strength. We were able to sleep a little better at night, although we still slept with "one eye open."

The next week rolled around. We got up bright and early-not so easy for a kiddo on a lot of meds or parents lacking sleep, not only due to the seizures, but because we had a 7 month old and 2 year old as well. We headed to a different MRI "suite" this time. Instead of in the Radiology Department, this one was completed in the outside truck. Because of the nature, and the tests required during it, it seemed like hours before he came out. To this day I am still amazed how many tests, especially MRI's, that this kid went through unsedated. That machine scares me to death!

We went home assured that we would be contacted with the results when they became available. In medical speak, that could be a day or it could be a week. Since his case was so complex, we were counting on the latter as a bare minimum.

During the wait time, he was still taking Physical and Occupational Therapy. He began to increase a little in strength. The Physical Therapist, a loving man I had the privilege to work with for several years, noticed a big difference in him. He came over and sat next to me and said, "Wow! What happened? That kid must have a GREAT Therapist!" He was grinning from ear to ear. I just asked him, "Have you ever heard of the power of prayer?"' I was amazed myself. I KNEW there was only one explanation, but I was truly in awe myself. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. All those tears wondering if he would ever talk normally again. If he would ever regain the strength in his right arm/hand again-he had let it lay limp for so long and many times we had to move it around for him as he lay in bed or sat at the computer.

Yet here he was, at Physical Therapy, using it. It wasn't "tied" to the machine anymore. Granted, it was still weak, but they didn't have to tie it to the machine to exercise it. He was playing the Wii to work on his balance. I couldn't believe it. Another co-worker and friend who was there with her husband at the time, was amazed at his progress as well. Her husband was too and even he was making a pretty fantastic recovery. I wanted to cry. Actually, I think I may have shed a tear or two.

Still waiting for the phone call, we began to live life as "normal" as we could, which was far more "normal" than it had been for some time. We were getting anxious for the test results to come back. Surgery was STILL scheduled and it was creeping up on us. A little over a week and a half away. I was adamant that he was not going into that surgery suite until we had some answers.

We headed to town for some things and were on the way home, driving on our curvy road. My cell phone rang. It was the Neurology office! We had been waiting for this call for some time. Figuring the call would take some time and my full attention, I pulled over to the side of the road and answered it......

Online Fellowship for Moms Starting Up!

Have you ever prayed for a Titus 2 friend? One who would encourage you right where you are, in the day to day reality of motherhood? How about fellowship in a community of other moms living right where you are? Encouraging one another in this beautiful calling of motherhood, as well as in your marriage?

Something has laid heavy on my heart for a while, as I have prayed for years for like minded friends and Titus 2 mentors. Much of our interaction today is "virtual" as we raise babies, some homeschool, and others work from home. The days are long, and the nights seem short.

I would like to introduce you to just such a community starting up. Built on Wisdom, from Proverbs 14:1~ The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. 

This community would bring together women from all walks of life. Spurring one another on in the admonition and love of the Lord Jesus Christ, their spouse, and their children.

How would this work? Well, a lot like a book club combined with fellowship. We will pick a book to read over a period of time-1 chapter a week as to not keep you too busy with community and neglect your household. A short weekly Bible reading would be included. For more sense of community, a Facebook page would be started. A day or two a week, we would discuss what we are reading, what we are learning, and any other concerns you may have. Many of these books are written by those I consider to fit the bill perfectly for Titus 2:4-5.

Many of us have a hard time finding time for interaction, or even those who are in the stage of life we are in. This would create a way to fellowship with women from all over, in every walk of life. To laugh together, to cry together, and to grow together. 

*UPDATE- one day a week, we will also include fun activities and recipes for you to do over the weekend with your kids! Many of these ideas will come from my own kids. From time to time, there will also be meal planning sheets/advice, planning, etc. I am also contacting "mentors" to guest post from time to time. Stay tuned!!

Not all book selections will always focus on homeschool, but occasionally we will see those that do. Feel free to skip the studies when we do those if they do not apply. None of these are affiliate links, please click the links to read more about each book. These are the ones up for consideration for the first study:

The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

The Busy Homeschool Mom's Guide to Daylight by Heidi St. John

The Busy Homeschool Mom's Guide to Romance by Heidi St. John

The Ultimate Marriage Vow: 21 Days of a Lifelong Committment

also available free as a PDF here for fans of Time Warp Wife and Club31 Women

SO many choices.....and I have tons more, but that is for a later date. So...my question to you is, are you interested in joining? Dates to be announced later after I see how many are interested. For the Facebook community, go 'like' my page and let me know there, that you would like to be placed in the group. We will have to become 'friends' on my personal FB page as well, more info on that later.

Share below if this is something you would interest you.

My Reading List 2013-2014 and a Life Lesson...Simplify!

But regarding anything beyond this, dear friends, go easy. There's no end to the publishing of books, and constant study wears you out so you're no good for anything else. The last and final word is this: Fear God. Do what he tells you.

(Ecclesiastes 12: 12-13, The Message)

Books!! Oh how I love them! I have been in a fog the last couple of years and haven't been reading quite as much as I used to. I used to read them through in less than a week and read through the Gospels several times in a year. I lost that passion. 

As I was pondering on this, and reading another blogger's reading list, the verses above came to mind. I looked them up in several translations, and really identified with the Message version. Odd because I normally don't read that version even though I own several versions and several types of Bibles. 

When I look back over the last several years, I see so many books that I have read and MUCH studying that I have done, however, I have neglected nourishing my soul with my Bible, as well as just reading for pleasure. Not to learn something else. Not to fix yet another problem in my life. Just to READ. NONE of the time spent in my love obsession of Inductive Study was wasted, although sometimes I just need to read my Bible and listen for Him to speak to me instead of constant study mode. I even took a Seminary class last fall. In that class, I even wrote a 10 page paper analyzing the prayer of Jesus in John Chapter 17. Yeah, I am a study geek.

This year, actually most of the latter part of the Spring up until now, the word "Simplify" seems lodged spoken in my heart. After the hectic year we have had....it's no wonder! It's time that I listen to that still small voice again and get quiet before Him. It's time to cuddle up with some good books and my Bible. 

My List for 2013-2014 (none of these are affiliate links, just linked for your viewing)

• Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis with Beth Clark

I just finished reading this book last week and was absolutely blown away! It will probably remain as my favorite all time book.

• Called Home:Finding Joy in Letting God Lead Your Homeschool by Karen DeBeus

I have already read this book once, but guess what? I am now on my second go through. I am sure I will read it for the third time before the year is over. Yep--it's that good!

• Simply Homeschool: Having Less Clutter and More Joy in Your Homeschool by Karen DeBeus

Yep, this book is by the same author as the previous book. This was the first one I read, and might I add, one of the homeschool books I would recommend to everyone-as well as Called Home, her other book. She has two amazing blogs, Simply Living for Him and Bible Based Homeschooling on a Budget. And......SQUEAL......I hear that her next book, based upon her year using the Bible as the main text for their school year, and the reason for her latter site, will be released SOON. I cannot wait. IT will also be on this list! Her blogs are SO encouraging and she is a sweet lady-I connected with her when Simply Homeschool came out and reviewed it on Amazon. Ah-maze-ing!!!

• Women Living Well: Finding Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids, and Your Home by Courtney Joseph 

I LOVE Courtney's blog over at Women Living Well Ministries. I read it often. I have also done Online Bible Studies, and lead a small group, for Good Morning Girls. *Sigh*, this book is not available until October 1st, but I will be ordering it when it is!

• In This Place by Kim L. Abernethy

After reading a biography on Gladys Alyward prior to Kisses From Katie, I became fascinated with true stories about Missionaries. Spreading the Gospel all over the world. I am blessed to not only attend a Mission minded church, but to have met two Missionary friends through Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies with Melissa Taylor. I am humbled, honored, and amazed to hear about, and at times, (thank you YouTube), to be able to 'watch' their work. It is amazing, but such hard work. I do not have the 'romantic' view of missions...I have seen and heard how hard it really is and how amazing it is to see God provide for them.

• What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst

This is our book for our Online Bible Study starting July 28th, at Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies with Melissa Taylor. There is still time to sign up if you are interested!

• A Confident Heart by Renee Swope

This is the final study of this year at Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies. I am super excited for this one. I missed it the first time around, and so glad that they decided to revisit this one!

This is not an exhaustive list, I am sure that I will be adding more to it as time goes on. This is only what I have came across so far. We plan to focus A LOT on Missionaries/Mission work this year in school, so I have a ton of items for that. That, however, is for another post. I am really on a biography, non-fiction kick lately so much of my selections will/do reflect that.

So, join me in this path to simplicity if you would like. Share what you are reading this year, or what you have read. Include the impact that the book had on you, if any.

Homeschool High School? Yes You Can!!

Photo image courtesy of photobucket.com

When we first started homeschooling, we had a 7th grader and a 4th grader. It was only "temporary", right? We were being relocated temporarily for my husband's job and when that was over, life would return to normal, right? Hmm...fast forward about two years. We were supposed to be back in our home state by now. An "extension" on our relocation has spread our time out another year and a half.

Each time I "made" plans, or worried about re-enrolling the kids in school, it seemed the Lord, (thankfully), had other plans. I didn't want to re-enroll them mid-year. EVER. The extension dates kept getting bumped so that IF and WHEN we would go back home, it would be after the school year had started. 

So, here we sit, finishing up our third year of homeschool. This year we had a 9th grader, 6th grader, Kindy, and Preschooler. Suddenly, homeschool became a lifestyle and very "normal" for us. I stopped planning for public or private school re-entry. I began to see this new life as a blessing.

Lately, I have been reading so many posts about moms who are afraid to continue to homeschool through high school. After all, that is when it "counts" right? WRONG. Each year counts. Teaching the early stages of reading and math, as we did in Kindy this year, "counts" too. We just don't need a Transcript for it. 

I was terrified for most of the year. 9th grade AND Kindergarten TOGETHER? AT THE SAME TIME? HOW? But then God....isn't that how it always goes?

• Reminded me that it was He who called me to do this. Why should I fear? Why should I fear other's opinions, other's choice of education, and why should I fear "messing" my kids up? He gave them to me after all. I was seeking Him in homeschool. He who had called me, would do it: 1 Thessalonians 5:24.
• My kids were learning in spite of me. They have a love for learning, and will find ways to learn all on their own, even after the fancy curriculum is put away.
• I was stressing for nothing over credit hours. So many were required to count for credit, and exactly 5 hours beyond that was when I began to worry. That is when He reminded me that I had the hours--stop stressing and start enjoying
• Every time I began to consider sending them back to school, another article would come across my feed about "new policies", "new curriculum", or some horrendous quote from our government about our children. God gave me this opportunity "for such a time as this." (LOVE the story of Esther!)
• My kids would remind me that they WANTED to stay home and school. They were enjoying learning again without all of the negative issues at school.
• "Socialization?" They are not dogs. Honestly-those of us that came from the public school system-think back. What KIND of socialization did you learn? Mainly from peers your own age? How to give a wedgie? How to talk bad about your parents? How to name call each other and bully the outsider? My kids are VERY social kids. God provided MANY opportunities with this move. Their "socialization" is, for the most part, very positive. They are just as active, if not more so, than they were in public school. They can "socialize" with people of all ages--from babies to the elderly--not just kids of their own age. They don't stare at their phone all day and completely ignore everyone around them. Of course, they aren't allowed smart phones until they are old enough to pay for them on their own. They teach ME a lot about socialization.

I just want to say today, that each and every time I worried about "how my kids were going to turn out", I was blessed and amazed by each one of them. Their kind and servant hearts towards others, not just their family. Prayers for mommy when she is feeling bad by my four year old. Close bond between ALL of the children, even though they are so spread apart in ages--14, 12, 5 and 4. They talk about the Lord and desire to know Him.

High school? It's just another year. Trust God to put your kids where HE wants them. Trust God to provide for your school. I know it's hard. Boy, do I know. God is trustworthy, but sometimes we get fearful. Am I there yet? Not all the way-I am a work in progress. But God has been so good and so patient, that day by day, I am learning to trust Him completely.

Prequel: Our Road to Homeschool and Year End Blessings

Where do I even begin? I reflected a little bit about the faithfulness of the Lord in our homeschool here, however it really struck me again today. We have enjoyed a blessed weekend with lots of family time. Today, as my husband and children were in the swimming pool, I was working on a Bible study. I got called away to get the youngest one-she has had a bellyache today and had an "accident". When I returned home and began to study, something really weighed on my heart.

I have been in an uncomfortable season, mentioned in several places on this blog. I have been clawing to get out. But, what if it's not about "getting out?" At least, not yet anyway? What if it's about so much more? If it's about learning so much more? If it's about trusting Him so much more?

We are wrapping our school year up around here, so of course I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately. Mainly on the negative. But it's like that still whisper in the back of my mind, reminding me of all the good that came out. In spite of me. Because of Him. Really, my mind wanders way back.

I started nursing school when my oldest two, (of my four), were really young. It was a full day's work, not to mention a part-time job at the hospital and doing clinicals for school-sometimes at night. My heart was torn. On one hand, I selfishly wanted to "accomplish" something for myself and build a career. On the other hand, I knew what all I was missing in the boy's lives and felt rotten. Yet, not bad enough that I didn't keep pushing on. That's when the heart problems started-not only physically, but spiritually as well. That's when the anxiety and depression kicked in and cranked up. Little did I know, I was being "called home" but was fighting it with every ounce of independent pride in me.

Fast forward-my husband and I wanted a third child, hopefully a little girl. We loved our boys so much, but wondered what it would be like to have a little girl. I was working all weekend on night shift, and my husband was working all week on night shift. We were like ships passing by. It is by God's grace alone that our marriage made it through those few tough years. Neither of us attended church, or had a real relationship with the Lord at this time-I just said a bedtime prayer with the boys, and occasionally, one myself.

God granted that desire of our heart, but it would take nearly two years for her to arrive. Arrive she did! I was induced and it was a scary delivery. She was struggling to breathe and a strange blue-black color. The OB doctor wasn't much help, as I heard her whisper "Should I call a code?" As a nurse, I KNEW what a code was. My child was in trouble! Thankfully, a Pediatrician was accidentally called when I was fully dilated instead of my OB, so he was already on the floor. Furthermore, the nurses took my girl from her and handled the situation. They really went to work on her and soon my baby girl was fine.

Life was wonderful for a little while, then it was back to work. At this time, I was serving as the Primary Weekend Charge Nurse and dabbling in other departments with my heart set on the ER. That would soon become a reality, as I stepped into working ER only. Then, working as needed in an ER in another hospital too. 

Surprise! I was pregnant again. Considered high risk with my last pregnancy, they took me in right away. An ultrasound was performed VERY early. TWINS!! Oh, wow!! However, Twin B was not near as big as Twin A and they were very cautious about telling me. I was to return for another ultrasound to monitor the situation. At the next ultrasound, I got to see two tiny heartbeats. However, Twin B was still lagging. A few short weeks later, we would receive the news that Baby B was no longer with us.

After our second daughter was born, things began to take a twist. We had a few issues with her, then I developed multiple post-partum issues, some that I still struggle with today, and finally....health problems would strike both of her brothers. That story starts here. 

Prior to those events, I began to ponder homeschooling in my heart. I had not heard much about it, and a lot of it was portrayed in a negative light. I said a simple prayer in the shower asking God about it, and prayed that if it was the right thing, that He would soften my husband's heart. 

Soon, it became apparent with all that was going on with my son, that work was going to be difficult at best. Scared to leave him, and after spending so much time at home, it began an inward battle that lasted about a year. Soon, my husband got offered a job to temporarily relocate to a new state to work on a new plant start-up. We pondered it for many months, and finally decided to go for it.

The issue? We would not only be leaving mid-school year, but we would return mid-school year as well. Homeschool "seemed" the best option at the time-only temporarily of course, (or so we thought). Suddenly, people came out of the woodwork at Toyota who homeschooled their kids. A connection between myself and another mom was made and she offered some advice. 

My oldest experienced some issues at his school and due to his medicines, story here, so we decided two days into the new school year that we should go ahead and homeschool him now. His brother would follow about four months later.

That first year was a little rocky-here we were entering a new phase of education coupled with a 500 mile move. But, God was faithful. The kids were learning so much and we were thriving as a family. We began to "get to know" each other in ways that we never had time for before. Stubbornly, I still tried to work at least a little during this period but it was miserable. I worked long nights in the ER, and still had to teach my kiddos. I was adamant that I would continue up until we left-we really needed the money anyway, right?

My loving boss at the time, a friend and the wife of our current pastor, knew things were hairy at home. She suggested that I go ahead and "take off" the next two months to prepare for our move. To finish out the schedule and then stay home. I was shocked and scared, but went forward with it.

May I just say as I reflect back to those early years, nearly three years ago, that I can see the Lord graciously going before me and taking care of everything? That when we moved, so many blessings came with it?

 I was reeling from some hurts at a church I grew up in. I was having trouble trusting "church people" and so called "friends". I didn't give up on Jesus, but I was ready to give up on church. I scouted the area down here before we moved searching for a church. The one we picked, we based it upon the name alone originally and the location-right down the street. The name? Ironically, (or not?), Hope Church! I read up on their belief statement and agreed. We began attending Sunday morning services.

Two years later, I sit in awe of the people in this church. It is a big church-I grew up in a teeny tiny church of less than 50 members. This place had attendees in the hundreds! However, each one got to know us. They took time to get to know us. They showed us the love of Jesus that I had never seen. We met HOMESCHOOLERS there!! Wow! My boys soon became involved in almost every volunteer opportunity they could and LOVE their youth group. They are taught the Word, just like on Sunday morning, have worship, and small groups/prayer groups. I was astonished. The youth pastor took his role as mentor seriously and lovingly encouraged, rebuked and instructed my boys. 

As I sit here and reflect, I am overwhelmed by the blessings. The Lord provided MORE than what my salary was, in bonuses at my husband's job in this new area, my husband came to have a new relationship with Christ, and we finally truly felt like we had a "church family". We are even homeschooling a HIGH SCHOOLER this year....wow!! My husband has a short commute to work, compared to HOURS at home. He was FINALLY on dayshift for a long period of time!

But, as I reflect over the blessings, there is a bittersweet air blowing. Yes, we miss our family-a lot. I have never been this far from my mama or my grandma. We are three months out from a tentatively scheduled move  back to Kentucky. There is a situation facing us in our home and lots of uncertainties. Services this past Sunday were bittersweet as I counted how many Sunday's we may have left in our precious church. At prayer time, I asked the Lord to bless each one of these people and thanked Him for bringing them into our paths. My husband and I both said that was the one thing that made this possible move back so difficult--leaving our church home.

I can now see, all along, how the Lord was blessing us and guiding us these last two years. While the last four seemed so difficult, I can clearly see He was there in the midst of it all. 

Homeschooling has become a way of life for us now. We never miss an opportunity to learn, if at all possible. However, learning takes different shapes for us than it did in the past. I see my boys growing and maturing into young men, taking on responsibilities and having such caring hearts. I see my girls as best friends, and growing and learning so much. Not just academics either. All four of them-their relationship with the Lord, with each other and with us. The academics are only a small part, but the Lord has really blessed us there as well. 

All I could do yesterday afternoon was thank Him for this time He has given me at home. The blessings of our church family and meeting other homeschoolers who love the Lord. The blessing of meeting some who have graduated their kiddos, and they are successful in their endeavors, (gasp). 

School doesn't just happen in a brick building, mama. Trust me, my kids are not that far out from the brick building. We had a lot of really great teachers and we are thankful for that, however in this season, I am thankful that I am able to learn alongside with them and develop an amazing bond with these 4 precious gifts from God. You can do this-with God ever by your side, you can do this. Even when the days run long and it seems all you do is discipline and correct them, you can do this. You will be amazed at what they are learning even if you DON'T have a "formal" curriculum. Most of our "great minds", came from a homeschooling background. Google it-I dare you! However, that is only a 'bonus' and not the reason for us. 

The reason? Proverbs 22:6~Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. (NKJV)

Do you homeschool? Have you looked back at your year yet? Share with us!

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Mother's Day Gift Wrapped in God's Grace

Philippians 4:11-13: I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (NIV 84)

Most Mother's Day Sundays find us packed into church, willingly or not, to honor our mothers. They truly are a gift from God. Look in the Bible and you will find many moms who influenced their children--for good or bad. Many Mother's Day sermons tout the Proverbs 31 woman, or maybe the Titus 2 women--or maybe a mixture of both. Most of the time it is connected to mothers somehow.

This Sunday? Way different. You see, I have been inwardly struggling with many things for a while now. Many months. Seeking answers in the wrong places. This week, the Lord graciously answered some questions not only in my personal time with Him, but in a sermon. On Mother's Day. That really had nothing at all to do with mothers. Or did it? It sure did impact this one.

Our pastor expounded on Philippians 4:11-13 and 'Contentment'. We have been following a sermon series over a few weeks, titled "Family Matters." Little did I know that when I prayed for the Lord to open my ears and my heart to receive the message, that I would be weeping by the end of it. On Mother's Day--did I mention that? 

Written and dated 3/1/13, beside these very verses, was a prayer that I had prayed. "I pray to know this secret too." Well...that prayer was about to be answered. A Mother's Day gift from MY Father. It wasn't found in a book, in medicine, or even in a person, although I thank God for all of my blessings. My family, my friends, and my church family mean the world to me. Rather, it was found in the message and person of Jesus Christ.

As many of you know by my previous posts, this has been a tough 4 years. This week, after twisting my knee, I have had way too much time to think. But I have also had time to seek the Lord like I haven't for a long time. It took a crippling to get me to ....be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10). Sad state of affairs, no? 

A friend sent me a message the night before my accident, about Psalm 23. The message included a story about the dangers that sheep unknowingly put themselves into. They will literally walk off a cliff while they are grazing--too busy focusing on the food. The message also included a story of how one sheep literally strayed into danger so many times that the shepherd had to break it's leg, then graciously placed it into his garment, to keep it safe. Whoa! Please don't send me anymore messages like that....kidding!! 

Pastor expounded on the verses with such depth that it literally took my breath away. Learned, in verse 11, literally means to be "initiated into the secret". Paul had to receive some action in order to learn. Then, he brought up another favorite verse, 2 Corinthians 12:9. How Paul had sought the Lord three times over an ailment, and how the Lord had told him that His grace was enough (sufficient). Looking at the life of Paul, and realizing that he was writing Philippians while in chains in prison, we see that he didn't 'learn' the easy way. He had a hard life, but a life FULL of God's grace, provision, blessing and mercy.

Moving on in that same verse, Pastor said that content meant a "self-sufficiency not dependent on external resources." It had more to do with our "internal resources"--Christ. Our inner relationship with God.

In that same sermon, he asked a question that had been posed to me several weeks earlier in a conference call that I was a guest speaker for with Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies with Melissa Taylor. "Is Jesus enough?" Not really understanding the implication at the time of that call, I would be reminded a few short weeks later.

By the end of the service, I was weeping. Weeping over what all I had put above my relationship with Jesus. Everything that I put above God. All of the idols I had created. THOSE were the cause of my stress. I had walked away from my relationship with Jesus and was relying on MY strength to "do the job". I focused on the storm, and not the Savior; the healing and not the Healer. Our loving God reached down and broke down those walls within me. He restored me. He:

"makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." (Psalm 23:2-3)

Philippians 4:13 doesn't assure me superhuman strength or the ability to complete ALL that I set out to do. It does, however, assure me that my strength lies in Christ alone, and that He will strengthen me for whatever He has called me to do. Not what my plans are. His plans. According to Jeremiah 29:11, those plans are good.

The best Mother's Day gift ever? Wrapped in a sermon full of answers to my questions that He didn't have to answer. Chastisement wrapped in comfort and healing. For that, I am forever thankful. And the answer? That yes, Jesus IS enough.

Isaiah 30:15~ Only in returning to Me and waiting for Me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength.

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Having a Hannah Moment

In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.

1 Samuel 1:10 (NIV 84)

Chapter 5 of Stressed-Less Living, a study we are currently working on at our online Bible study, has impacted me far more than I realized. No, it isn't because I didn't think I 'needed' this study-my life is full of stress-but rather because I was un-open to fully allowing the Lord to speak to me during this study. My heart was divided. My soul was restless. I had way too much on my 'to do' list-a self created nightmare of what I wanted to do, not what the Lord wanted to do.

Today, I broke. I wept and prayed bitterly before the Lord. Not bitter at Him, but bitter at myself. Bitter for trying to run the show. Bitter for trying to go ahead of Him and heal in 'my own way'. Tears washed down my face as I realized that I was prostrate before a Holy God who only has my best interest at heart. Who has told me what He requires of me. Who has told me that I need to rest. Who has allowed multiple circumstances to sweep over me at an almost overwhelming pace. Who, when I prayed, "Lord, I need to hear from you!", sent my children surrounding my bed with words of comfort. "God is with you mama." "Look at what is beside you"-my prayer journal with a picture of Jesus on the cover. They had no idea what my prayer was at that point, but God sent His love in the form of my children. I wept again, "Why, Lord? I don't deserve this grace. Why are you showing me so much grace?"

Today, I related so much to the section titled, "When God Seems Absent." She began weaving the beautiful story of Hannah and bringing so many truths into my life and my current situation. 

• p. 94~"She was tired of feeling ashamed, broken, empty-hearted, and empty-handed."
• p,94-95~ "I bet she tried to stay focused on her blessings rather than being consumed with yearning for the blessings she had yet to receive. I can also imagine how helpless she felt to remedy this problem. All of these things combined most likely ushered her into a deep pit of hopelessness, where peace escaped her."~oh yes. I try to remember my blessings and stop dwelling on the 'not knowns' right now. There are many breathing down our neck at this moment and I don't know what to do. There is nothing I CAN do. I, too, feel helpless.
• p.95~"however, on this particular day, she was so desperate for God's intervention that she dropped to her knees and poured out her entire heart. She held nothing back and laid all of her feelings and emotions at his feet. She was ready to take back her life, lay down her stress, and accept whatever plan God had for her."~YES! That was me today friend. The last few weeks, things have slowly been spiraling out of control in my innermost thoughts and endless need for planning. There is nothing I can do. I don't like feeling helpless. I don't like feeling out of control. What am I supposed to learn here?

So, today, I cried out. I cried out for Him to teach me how to rest. I cried out to know His presence. I let Him know my fears, my failures, and my weakness....even though He already knows. 

Exodus 33:14~ The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." (NIV 84)

Exodus 33:17~ And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and know you by name."

Lord, let it be so. Teach me your ways.

Jennifer Newsom

OBS Teaching/Executive Team

Our Story Addition-Pictures

I wanted to add an addendum and some pictures so that you could 'see' where he was, to where he is now. Even though I haven't finished the story, I just felt like I needed to post this. There was also a 'dark' period which I didn't mention much in the other posts and, since many of you have asked questions, I wanted to add that in here. The hospital pictures come from when he was in EPC, or Epilepsia Partialis Continua, and was in a month long seizure, with residual weakness, most defined in his right arm but eventually to a degree, all over. The big blessing we saw in this period is that my son is a dominant lefty. He doesn't usually ever do anything with his right arm anyway. A silver lining that we were thanking God for.

At his aunt's wedding with his Granny, (June 2009), 3 months before his first seizure (11 years old):

Our first day in the other hospital, where we sought a second opinion, October 2009:

At his worst point, too many meds running through his veins and why we went back to the primary hospital, October 2009:

A picture of me a little over one year prior, with our third child (date on picture is wrong-my daughter was born in June of 2007 lol):

A picture of him and I, again at the second hospital, again on way too much medicine (the left arm was weak too at this point, that is why it is hanging):

Ordinarily, I waiver between 145-150 lbs and wear anywhere from a size 10 to a size 14 depending on if I have recently had a baby--I have 4 lol!! I mention this because this was the 'dark' period. While we were in both hospitals during the October stay, I had to go shopping a few times until I finally gave up and just wrapped my belt tighter. In that month alone, I dropped down to 120ish lbs. and was in a size 4. I have NEVER been in a size 4, except when I was 4. The shirt I have on almost hit my knees because it was an XL and I was in a S now. 

I spent many hours, many days, many nights, pacing hallways. Going down to the underground garage to pray, to cry, to scream, to crank up "Jesus Calling" by 33 Miles and "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns. To call my now deceased beloved grandmother, and my other beloved "Elijah" grandmother--both prayer warriors--begging them to pray for us. For him. Reaching out to other friends and families. Calling our family doctor for advice and help. Calling my nursing friends and the hospital I worked at for advice. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP US!! Crying out to Jesus so hard. Begging Him to help us. 

Then, in the other hospital, pacing outside to look at the fountain, calling my Pastor, begging them to pray for us. Walking to the Ronald McDonald house but never really sleeping. His dad and I took shifts. He stayed up with him during the night while I 'rested', (yeah right), then me and my mom took the day shift while my husband rested. Deep in my heart I believed God could stop this at any time. Deep in my heart I knew Jesus was right there with me. 

I had suffered severe post-partum panic attacks just 4 months prior to his first seizure.While God healed me of those, I still suffered residual anxiety attacks, originally thought to be from a post-partum hormonal imbalance (a lot went wrong with me after our daughter was born in March of this same year, 2009). I didn't have time to pay attention to those. 

I spent much time in prayer, writing a letter to God, digging my nose in my Bible, and taking care of him. There was a peace upon me, that I couldn't even describe. Yes, I had my times of crying and praying, but it was more because I wanted God to heal him now....soon...and I couldn't understand why this was happening. I can't explain it. I had times where I worried and wondered, but much of the time I just knew that no matter what the doctors did, no matter what the meds or seizures did, somehow he would be alright. God would take care of him and if something went wrong, God could fix it.

FINALLY, back at the primary hospital where the doctors began to wean him off most of those meds:

The old Bryce was coming back!! Here he is goofing with his Nana (my mom):

I don't know what we would have done without our parents during this whole ordeal. Billy's parents watched the other three kids for us, once almost a month straight. His Granny, my husband's mom, brought his favorite food to the hospital: her homemade mac n cheese and some Dr. Pepper. I thank God for them taking care of them while we traveled all over the place with this one.

 My mom traveled with us and pretty much stayed the whole time with almost all of the hospitalizations. She is my best friend and I needed her so bad--my husband was driving to and from the hospital to work, even staying at his sister's because he was so exhausted. I thank God so much for my mom--my best friend and my rock. 

My dad, who is a truck driver, also took time off and came and spent many nights in the hospital with us. It broke my heart--my dad is a 'tough' guy, but here he was sleeping in a rocking chair beside Bryce's bed holding his hand while Bryce slept, and wiping tears from his own eyes at times. I had never seen my dad like this. Bryce shares my dad's middle name-he was named after him.

Praise God!! Coming back around!! The right arm is starting to get some use in it. We were waiting to go home in this picture. Still on meds, but not near the amount as before:

*the pillow in the background was made by his Granny. My grandma sent a prayer cloth, which we attached to it, and this pillow STILL follows us everywhere today, 4 years later!!

Current pictures to come as the story continues.......thank you for all of your kind words and for the love and support you have shown us during this journey. God has been far better to us than we ever could have imagined.

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