The Blog is Moving!!

Hello sweet friends! It has been a pleasure getting to know you and walking through this life with you. I am so excited to announce that we have a new page set up!! I will still blog here from time to time, but the majority of my musings you will find here:

Faith, Hope and Homeschool (faithhopeandhomeschool.com)

Blessings!!
Jennifer

Kicking Comparison and Condemnation to the Curb!

What does a typical day around here look like? Hmmm....that is hard to say. We have been in an odd season the last 2 1/2 years, the majority of our homeschool years. If we have learned NOTHING else, (oh, but we have), it is to remain flexible. To not be caught into a "time" or "schedule" trap. I almost think my girls have learned more this summer since putting the "formal" curriculum away, than they did much of the year.

They enjoy writing, painting, drawing, math, and sign language. They like to read as well, but they prefer the former things better. 

We have been on a "temporary assignment" for my husband's job for the last 2 1/2 years. It started as a one year assignment, and kept getting stretched. The flexibility part? We may not know until a couple of weeks before hand if we are staying here or returning home 500 miles away. We are a family of 6 and we have a lot of STUFF.

We are "night owls." Consider it a curse or a blessing, I'm not sure. Even when the boys were in public school, it was so hard to wake them early and they were groggy and hard to get motivated. Both my husband and I spent YEARS on nightshift, both of us usually pulling 12 hour shifts. My "clock" has yet to reset to what some call normal, even though it has been almost 3 years since I have worked as a Registered Nurse. My son's medical condition requires him to get as much sleep as possible--sleep deprivation tends to cause problems with his seizures.

Furthermore, especially as me being a nurse, how do I know that God will assign them a typical 9-5 job?!? Hospitals don't only run on dayshift. Factories and many stores don't either. He could send them halfway around the world where time zones are different as well. The point of this? Each family is different. I have had to swallow this myself. I long to be a morning person. I have good intentions and all. However, my "best" thinking, as well as my best time alone with the Lord, is at night. Call it years of nightshift in the ER. Call it the way I was made-I have always been like this since I can remember. The same is true for my oldest. His "best" is in the evening. His brother usually goes to sleep sooner, and wakes up earlier than some of us. That is perfect for him. He is almost 13. Many of his "independent" subjects can be done on his own during that time.

I see so much judgement and condemnation upon those who don't rise early. Who don't have "quiet" time in the morning. Who don't follow a "typical" school schedule. You know what? I prayed years ago for God to give me a time to be able to focus on Him, to spend time with Him. To carve that time out during the day. I was praying it wasn't at night-at that time my husband was on night shift, I had many fears, and I wanted to get to sleep as soon as possible to make the daylight come again. Guess what? It was during those still hours of the night, when most of the world was asleep and quiet, that I found the time I was looking for. That I learned so much and spent much more time with Him, unburdened by a "to do" list in my head....everything was finished for the day.

Our homeschool isn't typical by any means. And yet, that is the beauty of it. I have no idea what plans God has for each of these kids. I "learned" to rise early for jobs, one at 5 am and one at 6 am, and one at 7 am. I didn't perform well in my opinion, hence the inward joy, but outward grumbling, to be placed on night shift. I am thankful that I don't have to work outside of the home now, but that "night" personality has served me well.

Don't get stuck in the comparison trap about what your homeschool schedule OR your quiet time should look like. Trust even those seemingly small things to the Lord. David and Joshua meditated day AND night. Read the Psalms...David cried out to Him during the night too. Don't impose rules on yourself or your homeschool or you are setting yourself up for failure and aggravation. Abide in Him. Lean on Him. Seek His direction for your EVERY step.

And the condemnation? Throw it to the curb. It's unBiblical anyway. 

Mother's Day Gift Wrapped in God's Grace

Philippians 4:11-13: I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (NIV 84)

Most Mother's Day Sundays find us packed into church, willingly or not, to honor our mothers. They truly are a gift from God. Look in the Bible and you will find many moms who influenced their children--for good or bad. Many Mother's Day sermons tout the Proverbs 31 woman, or maybe the Titus 2 women--or maybe a mixture of both. Most of the time it is connected to mothers somehow.

This Sunday? Way different. You see, I have been inwardly struggling with many things for a while now. Many months. Seeking answers in the wrong places. This week, the Lord graciously answered some questions not only in my personal time with Him, but in a sermon. On Mother's Day. That really had nothing at all to do with mothers. Or did it? It sure did impact this one.

Our pastor expounded on Philippians 4:11-13 and 'Contentment'. We have been following a sermon series over a few weeks, titled "Family Matters." Little did I know that when I prayed for the Lord to open my ears and my heart to receive the message, that I would be weeping by the end of it. On Mother's Day--did I mention that? 

Written and dated 3/1/13, beside these very verses, was a prayer that I had prayed. "I pray to know this secret too." Well...that prayer was about to be answered. A Mother's Day gift from MY Father. It wasn't found in a book, in medicine, or even in a person, although I thank God for all of my blessings. My family, my friends, and my church family mean the world to me. Rather, it was found in the message and person of Jesus Christ.

As many of you know by my previous posts, this has been a tough 4 years. This week, after twisting my knee, I have had way too much time to think. But I have also had time to seek the Lord like I haven't for a long time. It took a crippling to get me to ....be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10). Sad state of affairs, no? 

A friend sent me a message the night before my accident, about Psalm 23. The message included a story about the dangers that sheep unknowingly put themselves into. They will literally walk off a cliff while they are grazing--too busy focusing on the food. The message also included a story of how one sheep literally strayed into danger so many times that the shepherd had to break it's leg, then graciously placed it into his garment, to keep it safe. Whoa! Please don't send me anymore messages like that....kidding!! 

Pastor expounded on the verses with such depth that it literally took my breath away. Learned, in verse 11, literally means to be "initiated into the secret". Paul had to receive some action in order to learn. Then, he brought up another favorite verse, 2 Corinthians 12:9. How Paul had sought the Lord three times over an ailment, and how the Lord had told him that His grace was enough (sufficient). Looking at the life of Paul, and realizing that he was writing Philippians while in chains in prison, we see that he didn't 'learn' the easy way. He had a hard life, but a life FULL of God's grace, provision, blessing and mercy.

Moving on in that same verse, Pastor said that content meant a "self-sufficiency not dependent on external resources." It had more to do with our "internal resources"--Christ. Our inner relationship with God.

In that same sermon, he asked a question that had been posed to me several weeks earlier in a conference call that I was a guest speaker for with Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies with Melissa Taylor. "Is Jesus enough?" Not really understanding the implication at the time of that call, I would be reminded a few short weeks later.

By the end of the service, I was weeping. Weeping over what all I had put above my relationship with Jesus. Everything that I put above God. All of the idols I had created. THOSE were the cause of my stress. I had walked away from my relationship with Jesus and was relying on MY strength to "do the job". I focused on the storm, and not the Savior; the healing and not the Healer. Our loving God reached down and broke down those walls within me. He restored me. He:

"makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." (Psalm 23:2-3)

Philippians 4:13 doesn't assure me superhuman strength or the ability to complete ALL that I set out to do. It does, however, assure me that my strength lies in Christ alone, and that He will strengthen me for whatever He has called me to do. Not what my plans are. His plans. According to Jeremiah 29:11, those plans are good.

The best Mother's Day gift ever? Wrapped in a sermon full of answers to my questions that He didn't have to answer. Chastisement wrapped in comfort and healing. For that, I am forever thankful. And the answer? That yes, Jesus IS enough.

Isaiah 30:15~ Only in returning to Me and waiting for Me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength.

Linking up with:

Let God Slay Your Lions

As we are gearing up for another study at Melissa Taylor's Online Bible Studies, studying Stressed-Less Living by Tracie Miles, I had to grimace at the attacks that seemed to rage lately. Blessed, humbled and honored by additional opportunities within the group, now the battle is on. You see-we have an enemy. One that doesn't take lightly our work for God, nor does he stand back in awe when we begin to draw closer to the Lord and go out and serve.

1  Peter 5:8 warns us: Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (NIV 84)
The Life Application Bible adds this: "Lions attack sick, young or straggling animals; they choose victims who are alone or not alert. ....if you are so focused on your troubles that you forget to watch for danger, those are the times when you are especially vulnerable..."

So, what are we to do? Lions attack pretty quick and pretty ferociously. How do we prepare and battle when the enemy comes near?
Peter goes on to give us more advice, in preceding and following verses.

1 Peter 5:6-7~ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. (NIV 84; italics mine).
Notice that it says He will lift you up in due time. Not my time. Not your time. But HIS time. It doesn't say might lift you up either. God is a faithful and compassionate God. As we go on, we see that He wants us to 'cast' our anxieties on Him because He CARES for us. He doesn't want us to carry this alone.
According to the free dictionary, to cast something means "to throw", "to throw with force; hurl". Literally throw them things down that cause you anxiety. Not lightly place them down. Not twirl them around in your hands. THROW THEM THINGS!!!

Here, the Life Application Bible gives more  more insight: "Humbly obey God regardless of present circumstances...." Hmm...regardless of present circumstances. Ouch. This is tough. We have had an extremely trying four years here. Just when things started to mellow out a little bit, ROAR! Out comes the prowling lion. 

Once again, Peter provides more advice that should NOT be taken lightly. You see, Peter knows a little about prowling and devouring. He was warned by our Lord Jesus in Luke 22:31-32 that Satan had asked to "sift him as wheat". However, in verse 32, Jesus assures Peter that He had prayed for him that his faith should not fail. Romans 8:34 assures US that Jesus is interceding for US as well. According to dictionary.com, intercession is "an interposing or pleading on behalf of another person", "a prayer to God on behalf of another". 

Sound familiar? There is another place where we see Jesus praying not only for His disciples, but for all of us believers as well--John chapter 17--also known as the "High Priest prayer".

More advice from Peter? The 'sifted'?
1 Peter 5:9~ Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. (NIV 84)

We resist the enemy by standing firm in the faith. The faith in and of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

James also offers us some advice here:

James 4:7~ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (NIV 84). Sound good right about now?

When difficult times arise, and they will, both Peter and James offer us solid, Scriptural advice on how to deal with them. 
We should:

• Humble and submit ourselves before God. Petition Him in prayer with thanksgiving. (Philippians 4:6)
• Cast (throw, hurl) our worries, anxieties, and troubles upon Him. Once again, go to Him in prayer. Once you do this, leave them there as best as you can. Try not to pick them back up. Sometimes easier said than done, but there is a reason Jesus said His yoke was easy and His burden was light. (Matthew 11:30).
• Stand FIRM in our faith. Don't let the attacks dissuade you. Remember your God. Remember your faith. Don't be like the ground in the Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13:18-23) -when persecution arises, they choke out the Word of Hope that was planted within. Put on the WHOLE Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18).

Praying for you and with you my friends. What other verses bring you comfort in times of need? How has God provided for you in the past in the midst of an attack? How was He your lion slayer? Share your thoughts with me!

Remember...

Sometimes God calls to remembrance those things oft forgotten from the past. Words He spoke into our hearts during time spent with Him. Precious promises we were standing on but then life got in the way. The floodwaters came and we forgot yet another promise from the 43rd chapter of Isaiah:

Isaiah 43:1-2~ But now, this is what the LORD says-He who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (NIV 84)

The Life Application Bible notes put it this way: Going through rivers of difficulty will either cause you to drown or force you to grow stronger. If you go in your own strength, you are more likely to drown. If you invite the Lord to go with you, He will protect you.

We have faced so many tough battles over the last four years. Although not quite finished yet, portions of it are in a series starting here. The Lord has been so merciful and gracious to my family. He has been my whole life in fact. Calling me to Himself while I ran about life my own way. Running away when I should have been running towards Him. You see, I was that one lost sheep from Luke 15:4. Jesus in all His mercy was longsuffering with me.

Recently we have faced more battles. More trials. More decisions.....

I was growing weary. Wounded. Weak....tired. 

Until recently He called to my attention to return and remember. To recall the "goodness of the Lord'. 

I stumbled upon notebooks. Many notebooks. FULL of Scripture, commentary, dates, times, battles and occasions. Notebooks scattered from 2009-2011 when the battle was raging with my sons, my daughter, and my health from the Our Story series I linked above.

Hebrews 10:32~ Remember those earlier days, after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. (NIV 84)

You see, these battles began before I even hit the altar. However, you see, He was calling me before they began. I began to 'dabble' in my Bible reading some. When crisis hit, I had my grandma called into prayer for me. To me, the very presence of her signified that God's presence came with her. She was THAT close to Him.

The day I hit that altar and decided I no longer wanted religion OR the world, but I wanted a personal relationship/discipleship with Jesus Himself, was when the battle began to heat up. In just 5 short months we would be facing an immeasurable crisis. It broke my heart but it brought me to Jesus.

Today, I am reminded that it is time once again, to remember the past. To recall to mind all that the Lord has done for us. To persevere and draw close to Him yet again.

Lamentations 3:19-21~ I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. (NIV 84)

Jesus promises to never leave nor forsake us. Though we may be going through the trials of life, though the wind and the storms may rage, we have a God who never changes. Who is not shaken by life. A God who keeps His promises.

Today, let's remember the goodness of the Lord. That the shed blood and broken body of our Savior was to bring us reconciliation to God. That we all have sinned and fallen short. But we have a merciful God who wills that none should perish, but all should be saved. Reach out to Him today. Wherever you are. Call upon His name. Cry out to Him. Remember the goodness of the Lord.

Whatever it is you were standing for and believing in, no matter what it looks like right now, walk by faith and not by sight. Take your eyes off of your problems and place them on your God. Remember....Remember HIM.

Stop by the blog today for some great encouragement mom!

Update: My Soul Silently Waits

The first part of this story is here. 

A very scary early morning issue with my daughter that culminated into an ambulance ride to the ER with severe breathing difficulties. 

When we arrived home that day after her release, I was worried to say the least. Not only am I a mama, but a nurse as well. I knew night time was coming and they had warned us that she may get worse before she got better. Croup seems to attack the worse at night. Come to think of it--many things seem to attack at night. Especially around here.

Our son's seizures, (story here), seem to hit at night-not long after he falls asleep-or early in the morning. When I struggled with post-partum panic attacks, they struck at night-while I was sleeping. The ensuing and continuing anxiety attacks seem to worsen at night and awaken me from sleep. When I have issues with my heart, it usually happens at night.

My oldest son, the one with seizures, suffered night terrors when he was a young child.

My daughters struggle with nightmares from time to time.

As an ER nurse, many a child was brought in-you guessed it-late at night with fevers, croup attacks and so on. Heart attacks, strokes, seizures and more all made their way into the ER late at night. 

Needless to say, I have not always been a fan of the night. However, over the last several years, the night has been my 'quiet time' with the Lord so I began to see it's blessings as well.

As we were preparing for bed that night-placing our daughter in the room with us with a humidifier going-my mind was uneasy. As I was about to go to bed, some verses ran through my head. Almost back to back.

Psalm 91:5 (a)~ You will not fear the terror of night....(NIV 84)

Isaiah 54:13 (b)~ ......and great will be your children's peace. (this was actually part of the verse that I had been praying over my children the night before this happened, well, several hours before it happened)

Isaiah 55:11~ so is my word that goes out from my mouth. It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (NIV 84)

I was completely amazed at the way the Lord was speaking comfort into my heart. I am still in awe of His compassion, mercy and grace to reach out to a weary and worried mama. That He loves each one of us so much that He reminds us of His promises and His words. That He is involved in every aspect of our lives.

To me, I am sure He knows my fear and dislike of the night. Yet, that is when He chooses to reach me. To teach me and to encourage me.

I was soothed that night. I knew that, once again, God cared so much for my children and for me. That He would protect us and watch over us. That I could "lay down and sleep in peace, for He alone makes me dwell in safety."

Do you know Jesus as your personal Savior? If not, check out this article from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Start right here and right now. Come with all of your baggage. Come with all of your sin. Come find rest for your weary soul.

The Breath of Life

Job 12:10~ In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. (NIV 84)
Job 33:4~ The Spirit of God has made me, the breath of the Almighty gives me life. (NIV 84)


Nelson's Illustrated Dictionary of the Bible defines 'breath' as: "air drawn into the body to sustain life. Since breathing is the most obvious sign of life, the phrase breath of life is used frequently in the Bible to mean alive or living."

Stop and think about it. Breathing. It is natural to us; an involuntary reflex. We don't really have to pay that close of attention to breathe, yet we do. It is a precious gift. Unless you have struggled to breathe, it is often a function we take for granted. One that I, even as a nurse, took for granted until recently. We had a scare with my three year old daughter last night-see here for the story.
As a baby, I struggled with breathing problems. Many a night was spent in worry by my parents. Periods of time where I would stop breathing. Those problems plagued me through my teenage years, and then after I got married. Many a night my husband would nudge me so that I would turn over and/or take a deep breath.
Why is this important? Because after last night, I learned a valuable lesson. Rather, I learned more about the very One who gives us breath.

How many times has the Giver of Life allowed me to see that it is He who gives us the very breath we draw?

Years ago I had a dream. I was again a baby in my crib. I was having trouble breathing and turning blue. In this dream, I saw Jesus leaning over my crib  breathing the very breathe of life into my body.

Then, my son became ill in the fall of 2009-that story begins here. There was a period where one of his seizures got so bad that he couldn't breathe. His dad was at work and his three siblings were sleeping.We were in the bathroom and he was leaning against me struggling to breathe during a seizure. I cried out to Jesus, "Please breathe for Him Lord", over and over. He then took a deep breath, and everything was fine. Many times in the hospital, due to the amount of IV medicine they had him on, they threatened to intubate him. The levels were dangerous. The medicine was dangerous. The side effect was respiratory depression. However, even then, the Lord breathed for him.

Last night, it was my three year old daughter. A severe croup attack awoke her at 2:30 a.m. She was struggling so hard to breathe. Her breathing was so rapid that it was very difficult for her to even speak one word. Once again, I grabbed my child and prayed, "Jesus breathe for her like you did for Bryce. Please, breathe for her." As she was being assessed by the paramedic, she was amazed at her vital signs and assessments because she was deeply congested, had a very swollen throat, wheezing and appeared to be struggling for air. Once again, Jesus breathed the breath of life into my child.

The first glimpse we get of breathing in the Bible, comes in Genesis 2:7, speaking of Adam~ "the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." (NIV 84)
God caused Adam to come alive by His very breath.

In Ezekiel 37, we see the Lord telling him to prophesy over the dead bones. It was God's breath that would bring them to life.

We see something else fascinating happen in John. After the crucifixion, Jesus appears to the disciples. It was with His breath that the disciples received the Holy Spirit. They received the gift of eternal life.
John 20:22~ And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit. (NIV 84)

Many references are made to breath and breathing in the Bible. From creating, to giving life, to God's power, it is all recorded for us.

Breathing has taken on a whole new meaning for me now. Not just because of the struggles to breathe, but because of the importance of this involuntary reflex in the Bible. Because our God created and controls every breath we take.

How does this change how you see breathing? Grab a concordance or look in the back of your Bible. Look up the words: breath, breathed, breathe and breathing. You will be amazed at the number of verses you find. Share one here.

Thank God for every breath that you draw. Thank God that your very life is in His (very capable) hands. It is He who breathes the breath of life in you.