Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Dipping in the Jordan River
Captain Awesomesauce? Dipping in the Jordan River? These are just a few of the interesting things we are discussing over at Melissa Taylor's On-line Bible studies this week. This was actually the title for Chapter 9 in the book Greater by Pastor Steven Furtick. The question was "What is the Jordan River in your life? What is the one thing about which you would say, "I will do anything God asks me to do-as long as it is not that"?.
There was a period in my life, 3 years ago, that my sons and I were discussing the Bible. My youngest, (wanting brownie points maybe?), said that I should teach others. I said "Oh, no! No way! I am too afraid to mislead someone or not handle God's word correctly." I believe I even 'tossed' a little, "Please God, no" prayer there too. Uh-oh. Fast forward 2 years and I began 'leading' an on-line women's inductive Bible study. That lead to starting my own Facebook group for inductive study. And, finally, here--to Melissa Taylor's OBS-leading a small group on Facebook. It really scared me at first. Honestly. All of it. Especially when, much later, I found out it was connected with Proverbs 31 Ministries. They were kind of a big deal to me-they were so full of the love of Jesus that they amazed me. Meanwhile, back at the ranch-previously in our study, we had discussed 'burning plows' and 'dropping nets'. I had felt the Lord tug on my heart for a while to let go of the group I had originally started-WAY before Greater. Then, during the study, I learned my 'Greater' was at home and this OBS. To put my heart and soul into them. To rely on Him for the strength to do them, which so easily leaves me. During that time, I actually took on a co-leader in the other group. A trusted friend--one who was steeped in knowledge (granted by God) of His Word. As we started up another study, my heart just wasn't in it anymore. I was doing it and this OBS at the same time. I keep feeling the need to step down from the other group, and so, by God's grace, I did. I still stay in contact with them--they are precious friends--but since I stepped down, that group has taken a new direction and BLOSSOMED under the current leadership. I thank God for that and wish I would have listened sooner.
Then, while reading this chapter, the question was poised again, except in a different manner. What is my Jordan River? I didn't even hardly have time to ask, when I felt 'control' dropped into my heart. If you have read any of my blog, "Our Story", maybe you can understand a little. So many decisions were thrown at me--SO many things (even as a nurse) were out of my control. I am a true Type A personality, and, I lovingly say, with a tad of OCD thrown in the mix. I NEED structure. I NEED organization. I...um...need...control (said in a squeaky voice). For the last 3 years....EVERYTHING has been out of my control. We were temporarily relocated for my husband's job, which has stretched from one year, to working on 2 1/2--I am not complaining (actually, yeah I am)--we found an amazing church and some awesome friends, my husband is finally on dayshift, we are 12-15 minutes from his job vs. over an hour at home, and he is serving in the church--helping with gym time at AWANA. Praise God! Now for the control part--they keep changing EVERYTHING on us. Our housing, our pharmacy plan, his job description, his hours.....and, they wait until the last minute for everything. They asked us to stay until August, but our original move out date was December 20th. Without him signing paperwork, we HAD to leave on the December date even though we had 'verbally' agreed to stay. They kept saying the paperwork was coming (for months). Guess what?!? It came 2 WEEKS before we were supposed to move a family of 6 out!! There are other situations as well going on that I can't 'fix'. Well, ouch, when I felt that spoken to me, I thought....yeah, that is me. And I wanted to cry--so hard. I have been this way almost my whole life--how can I change? Then, I happened to remember that our next OBS is called Let.It.Go: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith. I had to laugh!! Don't tell me our Lord don't have a sense of humor! Or that He doesn't provide help and godly people to come alongside of you to help you. So, here is to taking that 'dip'--however, I feel I need an 'immersion' not just a 'dip'. Wink wink.
OBS Group Leader