As I mentioned in a blog post for Unglued, I wear many hats. I homeschool my four children, attend seminary classes on-line myself, and was leading two on-line Bible studies. One was made up of mostly local gals and some of their friends/family back home in Ky. Things were starting to clash. I no longer remembered why I was doing some of the things I was doing. I began to murmur. (I didn't want to spend 40 years in the wilderness either--wink wink). As I was doing the homework assignments for this week (along with a 10 page research paper for class), I stumbled upon Matthew 4:18-22. You know, the ones where He told them to come and they IMMEDIATELY dropped their nets and FOLLOWED Him. Ouch. Things got worse, (despise not the chastising of the Lord, right? I LOVE the way He deals with us), when I dug into the notes in my handy NIV84 Life Application Study Bible recommended by Melissa and several other OBS gals (thanks so much!). It says: "They left immediately-they didn't make excuses about why it wasn't a good time." Double ouch. I had felt the Lord calling me away from leadership of the second group. I obeyed and called in a co-leader. Then, I felt Him wanting to change the direction of that group but I was too busy reasoning about how 'important' it was to so many people. *blush* (I am thankful we serve a long suffering and merciful God). After reading that today, I knew immediately what I had to do. And oh, how it hurt! It was where I got my start, my fire, my energy, my love for journeying with other women into a relationship with the Lord. It was an inductive Bible study I reasoned; it's different than what I am doing here in this OBS. *see the excuses here?*
Today, I burned one plow (I know there are others) and I dropped my net all in one action. I felt called to have more passion and be greater in what He has already given me and He provided a tremendous blessing with this OBS opportunity with Melissa and the others. I need to be greater with my family. I need to be more passionate in learning about Him. And I need to quit holding onto the old things, 'just in case', and prepare for the new things He is calling me to.
Now, the other group can focus on where He is truly calling THEM. To exercise THEIR spiritual gifts He has given them. To use that group as a place of prayer (which, since the scheduled reading stopped--really amped up), a place of encouragement, and a place for us to discuss, as able, what we are learning in our journey with Him no matter where we are or what we are reading.
Praying God gives you the strength AND courage to let go of whatever it is that you are holding onto so tightly.
OBS Group Leader