According to my Bible dictionary, obedience is "the carrying out the word and will of God." and then, "obedience is a POSITIVE, active response to what a person hears." (caps mine). Growing up I was a pretty rebellious teen. Obedience, to me was never seen in this POSITIVE light. I wanted to do my own thing. Perhaps that is why God is calling me to take small steps of obedience...to Him. Those who know me, I mean really know me, know what I am talking about. I am literally a modern day Saul to Paul transformation once Jesus got ahold of me. So when the term obedience comes up-I shrink back a little. Not in rebellion this time, but because I love Jesus so much that I don't WANT to disobey anymore. My problems, or 'nets'? Confusion and fear.
God has been working on a lot of areas in my life and in my faith walk. To trust Him in big things, not just the small things. As many of you may know, we suffered a year of devastating illness in our family. The last 3 years have been some of the most uncomfortable and unsure years of my whole life. I am a woman who needs structure. Who needs control. Who needs to know what is expected of me. Which leads me to thankfulness for the next scheduled OBS coming up: Let.It.Go. Yeah...He's a working on me. ;)
His whispers to me then, are the same as they are now, "Believe". It is difficult to say what 'small steps' he is asking me to take. From my viewpoint-they seem pretty big. The NUMBER one step, of course is obedience. To hearken to His voice. The second one that I can identify is fear. Fear in general and fear of man (and man's opinions). It is paralyzing my ability to do what He has called me to do. This Scripture runs through my mind often:
Joshua 1:9
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Hmm. Obedience and fear...they go together, no?
I am a pretty shy person 'in real life'. Not because I am stuck up, not AT ALL! I associated with many of Lysa's thoughts when we did the Unglued study last time. What people 'may' be saying or thinking about me. It has been difficult for me to pack up, move to a new place, and find 'godly girlfriends'. But, you know what? He has provided in spite of me. Sweet friends whom encourage me in my walk in Christ, and who are not afraid to 'gently rebuke' me either. Most especially to pray for me--even over the phone!
He has really been calling me to step out of my 'comfort zone' lately. To 'dig ditches' towards my heart's calling--Women's Ministry. All the while digging deeper ditches for my highest calling--as wife, as mother, and as homeschool mom. I dropped a lot of the hats I wrote about in Unglued. Willingly. It's my Martha WHILE being Mary time. To focus on what is important. Instead of working with what I ALREADY had, I was looking for 'greatness' that Pastor Furtick describes. Not working with what I already had. Not thankful for the opportunities already in front of me. Three ditches were dug this week, with possibly a fourth one tomorrow. I am so looking forward to how HE can bless and multiply my loaves and fish when it looks like a hungry crowd is drawing near. How HE can work in me, despite my limitations. All it takes is: SMALL STEPS OF FAITH....working my way towards Him while walking on this stormy water. Not taking my eyes off of Him for a moment.
Hmm. Obedience and fear...they go together, no?
I am a pretty shy person 'in real life'. Not because I am stuck up, not AT ALL! I associated with many of Lysa's thoughts when we did the Unglued study last time. What people 'may' be saying or thinking about me. It has been difficult for me to pack up, move to a new place, and find 'godly girlfriends'. But, you know what? He has provided in spite of me. Sweet friends whom encourage me in my walk in Christ, and who are not afraid to 'gently rebuke' me either. Most especially to pray for me--even over the phone!
He has really been calling me to step out of my 'comfort zone' lately. To 'dig ditches' towards my heart's calling--Women's Ministry. All the while digging deeper ditches for my highest calling--as wife, as mother, and as homeschool mom. I dropped a lot of the hats I wrote about in Unglued. Willingly. It's my Martha WHILE being Mary time. To focus on what is important. Instead of working with what I ALREADY had, I was looking for 'greatness' that Pastor Furtick describes. Not working with what I already had. Not thankful for the opportunities already in front of me. Three ditches were dug this week, with possibly a fourth one tomorrow. I am so looking forward to how HE can bless and multiply my loaves and fish when it looks like a hungry crowd is drawing near. How HE can work in me, despite my limitations. All it takes is: SMALL STEPS OF FAITH....working my way towards Him while walking on this stormy water. Not taking my eyes off of Him for a moment.
Oh, Wow! I was waiting on your post, and great comes to those who wait! Your heart shines bright! I am blessed by your friendship and support in our journey toward >greater for God. The best is yet to come! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Marcie! You have the kindest heart in the world--YOU bless me!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing! So glad you have found the blessings around you in spite of you :) Sounds like you have some great support and your eyes on Him!
ReplyDeleteI love it! I am also very shy, maybe that's why He put us together in this study. I am always blessed by you!
ReplyDeleteNice post fellow rebel :)
ReplyDeleteJennifer a beautiful post from the beautiful lady that you have become. Love it. Three ditches. I have dug a couple myself this week. Debbie W. (OBS)
ReplyDeleteI go to Joshua 1:9 often. It is very comforting for us fearful people! I am right there with you, sister. I believe one of my ditches is to fight through those fearful thoughts that are NOT from Him. And, I am doing it by leaning on Him and going to verses like Joshua 1:9 when those thoughts come to my mind. Thanks for sharing your heart! Nichole (OBS Leader)
ReplyDeleteI so feel you...lol. I am also digging ditiches towards my womens ministry calling - however that may end up looking. I can also relate to having a rebellious past. This post really spoke to me, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI am absolutely amazed at what I am getting from reading you girls blogs! I was a rebel once too. I thank the Lord for "saving" me! Jennifer, that was wonderful! Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteSo great hun. Thank you so much for writing this. It really motivated me!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Happy Holidays!
ReplyDeleteI can completly relate. There are so many areas of my life that I know God is working with me on. Thank you so much for sharing <3
ReplyDeleteLove and Blessings,
Kristen (OBS Group leader)
Joshua 1:9 is one of my favorite verses of all time! It's my 2nd son's life verse. So powerful.
ReplyDelete"He has really been calling me to step out of my 'comfort zone' lately. To 'dig ditches' towards my heart's calling--Women's Ministry. All the while digging deeper ditches for my highest calling--as wife, as mother, and as homeschool mom." ~ good for you sister! He's calling you and you are acting in obedience!
You have inspired me Jennifer! Thanks so much! Great blog post!
Beautiful beautiful beautiful Jennifer! Your post spoke to me on so many different levels. As a girl who has had many Saul moments, I can relate to how you feel about obedience now. What would my life look like if I hadn't realized His blessings when I did? I don't want to find myself near that path again.
ReplyDeleteJoshua 1:9 has been an integral verse for me over the past year because I am a girl who has allowed the voices of others and the fears that overpowered me to keep me from following God's purpose in the past. Thank you soooo much for sharing your heart with us and taking those steps of faith. Praying that God will continue to bless you as you follow Him. I appreciate and love you so much dear sister!
Blessings
Kristi
(OBS Leadership Team)